All of us have family whether we know them or not. Somewhere at sometime we all came from the same place. In my life as a kid, my parents and sister were all I knew in my world. Somewhere along the line though I separated myself from all of them.

I don’t know if it was teen angst or just normal teenager problems or if I just wanted to be alone. Most of my development years were spent by myself in my room with music, notebooks, and in between I did start working a real job as a restaurant employee. Over the years of high school and shortly after I stayed in the same restaurant and lived in the same isolated world of my room. Perhaps that’s why today I still need and desire time to myself with nothing but some music and a notebook(now a laptop). Sometimes I think we all need a little space and or just some quiet time with our thoughts. After many years of marriage and children that time is generally found in the bathroom or the toilet. No, I’m not writing this on the toilet or in the bathroom.

Anyway, as you all may know my father passed away 3 years ago come December the same day my second and final daughter was born. This was quite upsetting for me on many levels but the biggest one was because my dad and I were becoming friends again. Not that we were ever enemies, but the bond that was on hold for a long time was re-forming. Since then, I have been really distant with my remaining family members and after recent events in my life, I decided I needed to change that.

The most logical place to start was my sister. She is 3 years younger than me and we could not have been more different as teenagers. We were latch key kids and pretty close growing up but as her social circuit grew and mine shrunk we kind of went our own way. Until fairly recently that is. She has had to endure many things in her life and although I was never not there, we didn’t really have the bond of being “there” for each other. So I made the first move and let her in to my world.

Luckily for me, she accepted me as her brother and after nearly 21 years of being strangers we have actually begun to form a real bond like we should have long ago. We are stuck with each other forever, but I think we’re doing a good job of erasing the stuck with part. She has become my friend and I am very thankful I have her in my life to share life’s trials and tribulations with. I know that wherever my Dad may be in the grand theories of afterlife, he would have a smile. Knowing him, he’d have a dorky fun smile like the one below.

Thank you sis, I love you!

What a crazy world we live in huh? War, famine, poverty, greed, etc… The list goes on and on with the big and easy ones. But what about the ones that don’t get covered on the news everyday? I see it everyday in daily life, including the mirror I get dressed in front of every morning.

I’m talking about being lost. Everyone seems to be like a zombie walking around lost in their own minds trying to figure out what to buy, where to go, what to do, and how to do it. Ever sit in traffic and look around and ask yourself where is everyone going? Where did they come from? What did they leave behind at this hour of the morning to be on the road just like me? Look around, no matter where you are, we all look like we’re lost in something or somewhere else.Is it only in small towns people stop to say hello anymore? I certainly will not. But I have confidence and trust issues….pay me no mind.

I am not any different from anyone else. I too am lost. I am lost in thought mostly. Sometimes I am lost in thinking about thought. If I have my iPod on, I am lost in my music. Dissecting every verse, chorus, bridge, lyric, note and chord. No matter what internal mood or challenge I’m quietly tackling my tunes will go from Metallica to Ryan Adams to Damien Rice to Jason Mraz to Ray LaMontagne to White Lion.

Sometimes we write. Sometimes we write in notebooks, I suggest a moleskine, or sometimes we write in blogs. Sometimes we watch the news and pundits and let them tell us what to fear, how to think what to buy, what to smell like, the whole gamut. After all that electronic guidance though, we are all still lost.

Look at the randomness of this post. There really is no point to any of it, but yet here you still are trying to make sense from it. Are you now lost too? I guess welcome to the world then. Relax your tired soul a bit and maybe get lost in something new. A boo, a new CD, a movie that moves you. At least it will be easier than everything else right?

So if you happened to find my blog and words, how did you find me?