First off, I gotta get me some of these for writing my posts at night.

Clicking the image takes you to the blog source as I borrowed the picture.

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Also, have to have some fun with Photoshop and a buddy on his birthday.Unless he really does take family pictures with his monkey in a monkey suit.

Have a Happy Birthday Adam. (NSFW)

Yesterday I kind went off on a rant about my job. No, nothing changed in a day. But I am glad today is Wednesday because that means only 2 work days left before 2 days off.

My brakes have less than 1 millimeter left on the pads so they gotta get changed ASAP. Should set me back about $400 I don’t have for brakes right now. But that’s cheaper than if I wait any longer so I’ll figure out something. Haha, that not so mega raise should be there this check and what better way to celebrate!

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Tonight I think I saw the beginning of the end for my child bathing days. I’ve started to see the writing on the wall for a little while now. A few weeks ago my oldest, now 5 and a half, proceeded to tell me she pooted. She also clarified she did not poot from her butt.My wife wrote about it here. Not too many things as a parent have stumped me quite the same way this did. I guess it’s because I just cannot relate. I have never pooted from my wiener. Ever. I’m cool with that fact. Tonight the girls told me they were feeling their boobies and I felt a little uncomfortable. When I asked why they just said because it’s fun. Now normally I would agree with my buddies that feeling boobies is fun. But when my 5 and 4 year old girls say it, it loses it’s luster. I shrugged it off.

Thankfully though, after the washing was done they returned to being little girls. Ariel was sliding on her bath slide and flounder was doing whatever they make him do. But then the playtime stopped suddenly and the youngest told her sister to listen….blluuuuuuuuuurrrpp. She farted. They giggled. Then her older sister said listen….blurrrrp. She responded with her own fart. They giggled. This went back and forth at least 3 more times. A genuine contest was hatched. I smiled in the hallway until I heard my oldest say “Dada, I need to go potty I need to go poop.” She’s T.M.I. like that. Oh well party’s over. Yeah, she made it from a quick dry. The youngest still in the tub won the contest cause she let one last rip. Game Over.

So now I still wonder how may baths I have left. I have given every single bath in the 5.5 years I’ve been a Dad. Except when grandma is around and then she wants to do it and I’m not getting in grandma’s way for a bath. The wife only does it when I’m sick or out of town for whatever reason. I still feel a little sad though knowing I have fewer left than how many I’ve given. I enjoy the time and bonding that’s done. But I can’t explain poots that don’t come from the pooper.

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Does it really not rain much in California? Seriously. Does it not? It rains here every day in the summer. No big deal. Except for the schmoes who still don’t now how to drive in it. Rain is good, it saves you money on your water bill. It’ll pass and you’ll dry up. Promise.

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I have to be honest that I haven’t paid much attention to Haiti lately. I have great amounts of compassion for the people there and I certainly wish them all the best. I do honestly feel bad for each and every one of them who have been affected. It has made me appreciate the things I have and life I lead more. I just don’t watch and I don’t desire to do so. I have donated a few bucks and all I hope is that the money is used to help give the country some feet. Obviously, they didn’t have feet to get knocked off of. With a poverty rate as they had, I have concerns about sending them more money than the nation’s GNP was last year. You know the whole “Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a night, but teach a man to fish and he’ll never be hungry again.” kind of logic. All I hope is that the money we send gets used to treat their illnesses and rebuild some structure that will teach the nation how to eat every day. To the people of Haiti, I send them this song.

Just about a month in to 2010 and not much has changed for me. Not that I’ve really pushed to make things change but that’s my own fault and I am getting more aggressive. I have to be, it’s starting to keep me up at night.

It all starts at work. I know I know, I shouldn’t complain about work because I have a job. Thing is though, my job makes me unhappy. I love what I do, or at least I used to. I also used to love where I did it. Yes, they are completely related. My work is now challenging for all the wrong reasons and not the reasons I want from a career. I want to be challenged in a way that pushes me to be better at what I do and expand my knowledge of emerging technologies. Right now, my work is only challenging my patience and it seems like each day something new happens to deflate my spirit for success. Of course I care about what I do and take pride in my work, but now it’s only just to keep my ass employed. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of working hard and doing well at it but standing in the same spot when I’m done. My company has issues with it’s directions and attaining the visions it desires. Several things have happened that dissuade me from advancing myself and the team I manage. It has been happening for a while and I just feel like my flame is completely out. I think when your flame goes out, your spirit starts to suffer and who wants that?

The final puff of air to extinguish that flame came last week when I got my raise. Sounds wrong right? Allow me to explain.

Just over a year ago, my company decided to cut salaries across the board by 5% in order to help keep it going. I was ok with this at the time and I was even able to prevent this from affecting everyone on my team, except one guy. I did all I could to change it for him, but could not. He left on his own accord a few months ago. Anyway, I am the only person on my team that ended up taking the hit. I was ok at the time, team player and all. So this year when I learned there was raises to be had, I was hopeful my sacrifice and value to the team would be paid back. Not in the slightest. My salary, after this years meager 2% increase, is still less than what it was when I started back with my company 3 years ago. I do more and get paid less. I did all I could do and told my boss that sucked, I told him all this for the why, and I left his office deflated. You have to trust me when I tell you it really was ALL I could do. Honestly, when it comes to reviews and salary decisions, no one involved is included in the process until they are told the results.

So my eyes are now wide open for a new place to spend the majority of my “awake” time but as you know the pickens are slim. Especially at my level.

So that’s my rant about work. I think every blogger who works gets a couple of those throughout the year and hopefully I will not have any more except when my opinion changes. I firmly believe with your job you need to be happy with what you do and you need to be happy where you do it. We spend the majority of our week at work, preparing for work, and traveling to and from work. At least our awake time. On a good traffic work day, I only get 2-2.5 solid hours a day with my kids. That’s simply not good enough when there is no quality time outside of that.

Speaking of kids, my girls are now seemingly addicted to all things Star Wars. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this. As a kid myself, I LOVED it the same way. Only I think for them it may pass sooner because they can watch the movies as often as they want. I could only watch when it showed up on HBO until we got a VCR. Still though, it’s a good bit of fun and I will enjoy it as long as it lasts. Sometimes I just get tired of it though.

Last weekend, as you read we went to a great party. Again I say thanks to all involved because I pushed myself out of my comfort zones into areas I am usually too afraid to go. I pushed and I had a great time. I got up and comfortably spoke in front of people, I mingled by myself, and I danced a little bit. I normally don’t do any of those things and usually despise myself after for being too afraid. So thank you all again for making me feel comfortable and confident to remove some of my previous social life blockades. Where were you guys 20 years ago when I started high school? Holy shit….20 years ago? I’m getting old.

I thought with age, it would become easier to fall asleep. Not so much for this insomniac. That reminds me, I need to refill my script.

So there you have it, a whole bunch of crap that I’ll likely regurgitate again on Thursday in therapy. By then I should also have some intense workout DVD’s from a generous employee of mine. I completely plan to rock those bad boys because the poor self image I have of myself cannot be allowed to continue. See, I really am trying to improve. Thank you to those who read this far and especially thanks to those who leave your comments below.